In this last required post for this course, I would like to circle back to the very first English post that we wrote at the beginning of last semester - why are you interested in learning Japanese?
At that time, I just thought of a bunch of things I really liked about Japan: food, architecture, calligraphy, etc. It seems that the intensity of one's interest in a language is positively correlated to the things that associate with this language that "click" with our personal desires.
But it doesn't answer the question: what do I find fulfilling in learning this language and its related expressions of human life?
The answer for me is spiritual.
My entrance into real Japanese culture is through the spiritual journey into Zen Buddhism. That summer in Kyoto is one of the turning points of my life. All the beautiful things that express Zen (peaceful mind) and speak to me from the soul.
Temples: I sat in the courtyard of Ryoanji and appreciated the simple yet deep intricacy of the stone garden. Kinkakuji is a place to feel eternity by watching the golden pavilion from faraway in awe (or fear) of its standing on its own.
Nature: lakes, trees, mountains, seas, birds, I hear the voice of life speaking to me through spirit. I remember in Wakayama, as I sat on the bus that drove on the tortuous roads in the mountains and looked at the vast blue sea, I forgot all my worries and felt great inner peace.
Ceremonies: during the Gion Matsuri, tea ceremony, celebration in the Shinto shrine, it was full of joy, serenity, sincerity, and hope from all the earnest souls.
But more importantly, things that impress our souls are the most ordinary, or sometimes even tragic.
I remember sitting in a small ramen place located in a narrow street in Kyoto, watching the chef preparing the ramen with care. There was nothing special in how he handles the noodles, but the loving and responsible attitude towards every single bowl of ramen was conveyed to me every second. I also recalled every time I bought postcards or presents, I really enjoyed the moment the shopkeeper was wrapping the gifts. That was a tranquil moment of mutual appreciation for us: the gratitude that the presents are treated with care from the customer and the happiness that the customer is satisfied with this gift from the shopkeeper.
The two history courses I took on Japanese history with Garon-sensei are very depressing and tragic-driven. One is on the bombing (atomic bomb, air raids, etc) of Japanese cities, and the other is on modern Japanese history, in which I read a bunch of books on the lost decade of the 1990s. War, death, recession, loss of hope, I heard all those voices speaking to me from the readings and videos. I heard the silent endurance of suffering and was really saddened. But the most assuring is that, even if there was all darkness during the worst times, there was always a narrow beam of light of hope, seen from the people who continued to stay together and support each other, thinking for each other's good when their very own lives are at stake.
The detective novels, especially those by Higashino Keigo, are also very grim, in the sense that he explored the evil of human nature and presented it in all possible places of a detective story. Be it motives of crime, deeds during a crime, and thoughts/interactions with other people after a crime, the sins of human nature lie bare to the eye - both shocking and grieving. But I think that, evil and good are just separated by a thin piece of paper. Extreme evil is ultimately a result of pursuing excessive goodness. Perhaps the author hopes us to be awakened by our very nature, and hence acknowledge and strive to be good.
The novels and excerpts of Haruki Murakami write straight to the deepest corners of one's soul. The unfortunate reality is that the deepest part of our soul is also the darkest, because never has there been light shone on it. But it is always reassuring that Murakami wraps it in a subtle package, telling the uncomfortable truth with sadness yet always end in hope.
Anime and drama, such as the Death Note, Liar Game, Kaiji, Hanzawa Naoki, many of them ask the questions of who we are as human beings, and what are we looking for in this life. There is never an answer, but thinking about those issues always brings some enlightenment.
I could go on and on but I am sure you got what I mean. "The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So is with everyone born of the Spirit." Learning Japanese, to me, is a spiritual journey in which one's soul witnesses, communicates, and seeks in one's life. This process is of great joy, enlightenment and pleasure.
At the end of the semester year, learning Japanese also circles back to my original starting point (makes one wonder at life in awe more), as I "ended up" adopting Christianity as truth and personal faith. On the surface it seems that I have formally ended learning Japanese in school, but the spiritual journey actually never ends and is in fact taking me to see and appreciate more things. And it is the very reason that I am able to come up with a satisfying answer to why I study Japanese.
Good luck to everyone embarking on his/her own journey with Japanese! (:
